"Confessions of a Slave"
A Non-Fiction Eroticlog
Part III is incomplete because I had so many requests for more on this series, that I drafted this at lunch and posted it before I had time to clean it up … If you see typos, please email me and help me out …I’m a wonderful pervie writer but a dreadful editor and never claimed to be otherwise
|
Confessions of a Slave - Part III The
Negotiation
The phone call or email comes in and
the art of communication begins the game.
As a professional, I’m expected to understand and respond in a more passive manner to unique requests than if I were screening someone that I would date in real life. As a professional, the requests range from the mild and moderate to the extreme and unrealistic. How I react to a suggestion is how the prospective client will base his entire decision on from that moment forward. Rarely do requests ever go beyond the safe and sane into the sublime that I would either say ‘No Thank-You’ to or simply hang up on a caller. Although, if a call starts to sound more like entrapment than a legitimate call for fetish services I cut the caller short and tell them that they have crossed the line and to never phone me again. With fetish-calls, unlike vanilla escorts that offer basic services; my realm is far more dangerous and screening is essential for safety and survival. One error in screening could cost a Fetish Slave her life or worse; her freedom. Unlike a regular date in which only lingerie, heels or pink lipstick is required, my world involves whips, chains, shackles, hot wax and a variety of other assundries that conjure up devilish delight in the proper hands but can cause death or mutilation if I choose the wrong person. Even in my real life I know what boundaries I can cross and what adventures I will endure to take me to the next plateau of pleasure. How the caller begins the conversation and the tone in his voice, his ability to affectively communicate telephonically tells me his basic status in life and educational background. I know from the moment the caller says ‘Hello’ to me and the manner in which he communicates whether I will cultivate him as a client or simply treat him harshly so that he has no desire to ever meet me. I’ve been told that I can be the sweetest person on the planet to the rudest person in the universe. In defense of my own shifts in temperament, the reality of my tone is based on the caller and I simply mirror the manner in which I am approached and apply the same attitude and verbiage to the caller. If he is harsh and guttural, I will be the same back - if he is polite and professional then I will treat him with the same care and respect he deserves. Many times a caller will be offended by my harsh nature and what they don’t realize is that I’m more horrified by his inability to communicate like a human being (civilized or otherwise) and treat me like a person than they are of my response to their call. Truth be told, I don’t care what the caller thinks by the time I hang up on them as we would never have enjoyed our time together to start with and it would have been a waste of my time and his money. Passion and Pleasure are intertwined in my world and I choose to enjoy not just the monetary rewards of my position as a Slave, but also the time I spend with my temporary Master. This is reality and it sounds harsh, and real men appreciate honesty given that my personal safety is at stake. If the caller starts on a degrading and insulting note or tone in his first breath; chances are he will be more abusive and physically dangerous in real life. Real men appreciate honesty and Dominant men treat their partners (submissive, etc.) like treasures not trash. We are their prize possession that is there to fulfill their every desires and fantasy. A Slave’s position is to succumb to the Master’s needs. But before starting with someone new and for the first time, topics must be discussed and boundaries placed into play. For some a safe word is installed as to not break the mode or scenario, since often part of role playing will be the Slave begging for release or stop as part of the fun. In this regard, a quirky word that would not be part of this scenario is chosen and if the Slave utters this word, then the Master knows he has gone too far. That is when the comforting portion begins and the appreciation and reward is shown to the Slave as his way of apologizing for crossing the line. This can be shown to the slave in a myriad of ways: a gentle kiss, a warm embrace, a kind and caring caress. All the while not breaking the mood or interrupting the moment so long as to change the erotic tensions that have been built. I offer the following (and limited) definitions for novice readers and even for highly skilled practitioners so that I can make my definitions clear and not leave any gaps in my further confessionals. Defining the various aspects of BDSM need to be clear from the start and since the inception of the Internet, many of those lines have become clouded with false definitions thus causing frustration for novice callers and seasoned practitioners. Many individuals learned about BDSM from books written by so called experts that were simply trying to make money and put their personal style on the realm while causing even more confusion in the realm of BDSM. Also, there is a distinct difference between European/Canadian Style of The Life and American version. I adhere to the European Philosophy of sexual gratification of pain for pleasure versus the concept that BDSM does not have anything to do with sex. BDSM is ALL about sex, sexual tensions, and sexual release. IF someone tells you otherwise and you don’t run from that person or hang up on them you are truly a fool and deserve to get nothing for your time other than a nice cup of coffee and a thank-you. LIMITED DEFINITIONS: (To be completed in more detail next week) Fetish - \fe-tish also fē-\ Function: noun from Latin facticius factitious There are so many variations on this word and the more I talk to new callers, the more fascinated I become with what they learned the word to actually mean. One of the definitions I heard was that a Fetish Model or Fetish person does not engage in intercourse. That was wild to me, but this is what some novices are being told. Fetish has nothing to do with a person’s personal choice to have intercourse or not. Simply put fetishism is the sexual arousal and gratification brought on by any object, situation or body part not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature. These objects are often irrational reverence or obsessive devotion. I have yet to find the actual definition and meaning on topic to state that it means no intercourse. Bondage - Discipline - Domination - Submission - Submissive/Slave - Dominatrix/Dominatrices Dominant Male/Master End of Definitions ******** The question that most people ask me is how do I establish my personal boundaries and what will I or will not do for or engage in with a client. Very simple. I apply my basic questions which are: Is this safe to do with a stranger? Will this cause anyone harm; especially me if something goes wrong? Do I want to start slower with this client and work up to that request? Or do I feel secure enough to the requests to say ‘Sure that sounds great; if you’d like to meet…” So how do I as a submissive really decide on what they will engage in when being hired? For the most part, a true professional will be very light on the phone with a new caller as to not cross the legal limits while still being fun and playful. I ask the main questions: Are you a Fetishist, Dominate male, switch or Submissive or did you just like my looks? The majority respond with I’m dominant and new to this. Then I try my best to cut them off before they cross the legal limits and interject: Are you into bondage, crops, heels, Psychodrama (role playing in America), or something else? Most fumble through the list and then say they just enjoy spankings, etc. and it is left at that during our conversation. The most important part of the initial call is the time we will spend together in which the caller respectfully believes that his desires can be achieved .. How long will that event take to set up and to complete are based on the fantasy and the reality of set up. Some Bondage events take 2-6 hours to work out. While some role playing and spanking events only require one hour. Each situation is based on the tension that needs to be built such as in a play rape scene requires two hours or longer. I enjoy the first phone contact because it allows me to get a sense of the person before we meet. I’m known for turning down more clients than I actually meet since again, this isn’t just about me having a third job (I have a day job, and a second part-time job that I enjoy and both pay well), this portion of my life enables me to engage in what I desire and cover a small travel expenses and to engage in my sexual lifestyle choices without endangering a real life relationship in which he may not be open to BDSM but the he is perfect in other regards). For me, the passion between Master and Slave if developed properly can be highly erotic knowing that the Master will only call when he is ready or that this event will be that delicious reward that occurs not as a regularly nightly routine, but once a week or twice a month so that the tension builds of what the Master will conjure up to torture me with in a devilish manner the next time. Will I be taken to the ultimate brink of orgasm before I’m permitted or will he leave me cold and frustrated and not willing to see him again? These are things that come with building a relationship with a specific Slave. The caller that boasts he has seen hundreds or women or even thousands over the past several years repulses me and gives me the heebie-jeebies. First of all, he is a walking Petri dish of germs most likely and he isn’t the type of guy who wants to have an on going physical relationship that builds beyond any boundaries of the norm. The men that engage in BDSM activities seek higher levels of thrill than that of the average sort. They derive perverse pleasures from knowing what turns their Slave on and how long they can keep that pet on the brink of release. The one hit wonder type doesn’t even know that he can’t bring most women to the brink let alone take her over the edge. Mainly because he doesn’t care, he only cares that he got another notch in his belt and that he can boast that he nailed another female in the men’s toilet. The Master is more concerned with fulfilling his desires and putting his prize property on a pedestal and rewarding her loyalty and servitude with hours of drawn out playtime. I’m often asked, have I or will I develop a lasting relationship beyond that hour (or several hours)? This is a unique question in many regards. Being single and in The Life, I could not develop a personal relationship beyond the professional and remain The Life. I have developed wonderful and fun relationships with my clients that I adore and we stay in touch and share personal tid-bits because we trust each other, but that is where the line between professional and unprofessional can get crossed with some. I share what I need to share about my personal life and they with me based on our comfort levels. Getting back to the art of the negotiation, and to accurately pinpoint what is the one thing that will make a caller a good connection is his ability to be open, straight forward and honest without crossing that line of being graphic and repulsive. Part III |